the-inbetween.com

Cop Games

A woman's torso was found less than a block from my building. Yes, just the torso. It happened two weeks ago but today was the first time I heard of it.

I discovered this little news bit when two police officers solicited in my building. Two officers came to my door and told me what happened, they said that they're looking for information and asked if they may take a quick look inside my apartment.

I agreed.

They asked for my id. I gave it to them. They asked for consent. I signed their form. Then they asked for my phone number. I said I'd rather not give it. He looked at me with suspicion but didn't press the issue. He had no right to anyway. I'm a bit anal about giving personal information away (most people should be) and apart from confirming which apartment they checked, I wasn't about to give them more.

The two cops looked around briefly. One of them checked my freezer, which I found odd until I discovered -- later -- that a torso had been found and that the head remained unaccounted for. A macabre thought.

When they came in I was watching an old rerun of Star Trek: The Next Generation, so I was already a little self-concious of my geekdom. Then one of the cops noticed my DVD towers.

"That's a lot of games you have there. He perused through the many titles looking for something, "do you have the best one? An NHL game?"

"Yeah, I have an older one."

He glanced at my console set-up and then asked me "which is best, the Xbox or Playstation?"

I gave him the non-aligned neutral answer. "Depends on what kind of games you like."

He said "sports" so I said "Xbox". He nodded at me, nodded at his partner, thanked me and left.

That brief incident got me thinking about how ubiquitous this hobby of ours is. My mind connects things like this. I also connected it to the Inquirer article The industry is in for a gaming crash I linked in my del.icio.us feed yesterday.

I don't believe it will crash. I think it will slump (like it already has in Japan) and it might be a hard slump, but I don't think it will crash. There might be a shift of interests and focuses -- hopefully towards the quality products rather than the industry rehashes -- but no crash. I might be arguing semantics but I think it's a distinction worth making. Gaming is too ingrained in our generation and the one to come to go away. After all, gaming now spans from the Star Trek watching geek to the beat cop and everyone inbetween. It'd be really hard to disenchant everyone.

Though maybe I don't give the games industry enough credit. Pun intended.

A Personal History of Console Launches Part I

It began with the Nintendo Entertainment System. Its actual launch was a non-event to me. I just wasn't aware of it. I wasn't aware of a lot of things at the time. It was grade one and I had been in Canada for a matter of months. I couldn't speak English yet and our priorities were above consumer electronics: we had a west end apartment with no tables, no chairs, no sofa, no bed and, clearly, no TV. The NES was not for this time.

One of the things that I was aware of was a nearby convenience store's Jackal arcade machine. I played that. Another store further down the street along Lakeshore Blvd, near a McDonalds, had a Dragon Spirit machine (I think) and another store down that street had some motorcycle game, possibly Mach Rider but I'm not so sure. There were others, like a Ms. Pac-Man pinball machine, but none of this stood out like those three. Jackal was my favourite.

So in lieu of the NES (I didn't know much of its existence) I had these quarter-eaters. I had no friends and I couldn't speak or understand the language, but I had these games. They were universal. There were no lingual requirements to play them, just a couple of seconds to figure out the controls. Simple and easy to get into. Games just aren't as universal anymore.

My parents must have picked up on this. Within months, not only did we have furniture and a TV but, yes, an NES. An NES with an original light gun and R.O.B., no less. I still remember waiting at the bus stop on the way towards SheridanSherway Mall, where that Nintendo was purchased. Soon after we moved to the suburbs of Mississauga where that NES (and others' systems) would get a lot of use.

By this time, the summer before grade two, my English was better. I ventured out into our new neighbourhood on my first day there for the local strip plaza and its convenience store. There, in the back, they had a couple machines including Bubble Bobble. Over that game, on my first day in Mississauga, I made my first good Canadian friend. For the next few years, many friendships would be bonded over these video games.

The Turbo Grafx-16 later came. Then the Genesis. But we didn't care. Sure, we had contact with those devices (someone always had something) and we definitely thought Splatterhouse was cool shit and Altered Beast quite nice looking, but the NES reigned supreme.

The NES was all there was and information about the system and its future became a prized commodity. We heard from a friend of a friend of a friend that Japan already had Super Mario Bros. 7, amongst other such tidbits, but there was a need for more official information. Enter the slim and Canadian-only "Nintendo Power Flash" which later became "Nintendo Power".

These were the pages upon which I gazed into the future. It was Super. The magazine stopped coming after a few issues -- I can't remember why the subscription ended prematurely -- but it didn't squash my taste for the future. The 16-bit future! I didn't know exactly when it was coming, I didn't know exactly what games would be there, but I knew I wanted it and I knew that it would be out in time for Christmas. This meant that my parents would have to want it too, and I made sure they got the hint.

This desire grew stronger months before the launch. There was this small import game shop in the local mall back that had a number of systems set up for play. The idea was you pay a few bucks for fifteen minutes play. A sort of console arcade. That store always had these odd and foreign titles that we knew nothing about and exotic looking cartridges (Famicom) and controllers that baffled us. One day, still months before the Super Nintendo, they had a couple of Super Famicoms.

As far as we were concerned, the day that we sat down to play F-Zero and Super Mario World (even if they were in Japanese) was the day the future arrived. That was our launch. The actual launch of the SNES came and went. I have no recollection of it. Perhaps I had seen some commercials and perhaps there was some grade school talk of it, but I don't remember any of that. All I remember is being wowed by the Super Famicom and the Mode 7 racing of F-Zero and the music and the explosion. Oh man, the explosion. That loud, satisfying bang that occured when you flew off a track and that (at the time) cinematic zoom-out and camera movement to focus on the smoldering wreck. That, right there, was satisfaction.

When Christmas came, I unwrapped a brand new SNES. By my 12th birthday, a month later, I was set: Super Mario World, F-Zero, SimCity, Pilotwings and Final Fantasy II (with Actraiser and Castlevania IV as solid rentals). That was my first ever console launch experience and it remains to this day the best system launch ever.

Mario Kart DS

Mario Kart DS. Nintendo's first real online excursion. It helps their cause that, apart from the online connectivity, they start off with a really good game. The best Mario Kart since the original, as far as I'm concerned (I missed the N64, the GBA version was... off and the most recent GC version I found to be lacking.) The only strong negative with Mario Kart DS, to me, is that the controls seem to cramp my hand a little and the default control scheme can't be changed (why not!?)

Connecting the the Nintendo WiFi network was easy and starting a game was easy. It's a very Nintendo-like approach to what could be a tricky problem. It's practical simplicity -- it does what it sets out to do, presents it concisely, and doesn't complicate matters with more, well, control. Almost too easy.

It does seem to take a while to connect to a game online, but it's no worse than it was with Halo 2's matchmaking after launch. Once you do connect, everything seems to go smooth. Being undefeated after some excellent online races further helps my opinion of the game.

So, my friend code:
158973
312337

(As an aside, one stupid thing with the service is that it doesn't show whether your friends are online or not. It shows stats and when they were last online, but not their current status, which makes matching up games a little difficult. It would probably help if I had some more friends, though.)

The Right Brothers

Speaking of appalling songs: there's a "grassroots" campaign to Help Teach American Youth That "Bush Was Right!". They wish to do that by getting a shitty song from the "Right Brothers" on MTV's TRL. If you aren't a fan of the Right Brothers (you should be!) the I suggest hitting their site and checking out their videos, like this quality number of Tolerate This. It's "kicking"! Take that you punk listening non-voting fourteen year old bastards!

It's hilariously misguided, just like the "LIES" they oust (there are clear, uncontested, proven links between Saddam Hussein's Iraq and Al Qaeda?!?)

If they DON'T - then we'll hit the media in a BIG way, showing how MTV plays left-wing videos while CENSORING conservative videos!

I think we're all in agreement that MTV plays a lot of shit, but if they think that this "song" is worthy of being played, regardless of politics, then I can see why they would believe some of these LIES.

Guys. Seriously. We're starting to get a little worried about you down there. Sincerely, your northern neighbours.

Perfect Dark Unsexiness

So what happens when testosterone-driven FPS game makers working for Microsoft want to improve the demographic "appeal" of their title? They make an unrealistic "sexy" female lead character and have her pose in FHM. That should appease the early teens who buy our awesome rehashes!

Now, if their nerd version of sexy wasn't quite enough, they try to spruce up her image by making a sexy song. via "teh pile":

Since it is a video game, they have to try to make her "sexy." However, this song (presumably the game's end credits theme) is the wrong way to go about such a thing, and serves as a perfect example of why people who make video games shouldn't ever try to be sexy.

(Sample lyrics: "Slide me to the floor / I'm waiting on my knees / Crown your pearls on me / Can't you see I need you here / Sliding deep inside me")

As if they didn't whore out their IP enough already. This "song" is so painfully and offensively bad that XBox 360s are going to implode when this comes on. It's just downright offensive. There's no other word for it. Hear the proof with your own ears: Offensive Perfect Dark Song. Also on YSI.

And that is the output of a male geek dominated industry. No wonder Nintendo didn't care much for Rare. This holiday, give me Animal Crossing over this garbage.

This is a soundtrack that has been identified as such:

"The Perfect Dark Zero soundtrack is one of the tightest, most exciting, kick ass high tech/emo/groove/dance soundtracks ever to drop," said Rogers. "It's gonna rock your world! This is the beginning of the future of game soundtracks. Perfect Dark Zero brings it."

This song might very well answer the question as to why Rare takes so long to release games: all their developers and creatives seem to spend most of the development time fawning over internet porn. That's the only answer that can explain their delays and the contents of this song. No wonder it's been nominated for a Spike Video Game Award. Yeesh.

If this is the future of game soundtracks, count me out.

Civ IV - the end of a campaign

On Sunday, I played Civilization IV. A lot of it. And that was almost all I did.

The first thing I did was bring my Napoleonic Franco-Jewish Theocracy campaign to an end. I lost. With four turns left. Shortly after making contact with three other civilizations, back in the bronze age, I decided to focus on a cultural win. Since this was my first campaign, I though the less stressful route would be best. Save the wartime fireworks for another game. As the years went by, my borders and my influence grew. Chinese and Roman cities defected to my empire. Paris became a beacon of culture. I was winning without ever engaging a single military unit.

As we got closer to the end, Paris hit Legendary culture status (50,000+), while my other two major cities (Orleans and Lyons) were still in the 20k range. By then I started to realize that I wasn't going to generate enough culture to win by 2050, so I started to shift my focus to scientific research. I founded the UN and started my way towards a diplomatic victory. The other major civilizations on my continent (including my long standing allies, the Russians) voted for me, while the other continent was in favour of appointing Cyrus. The Chinese abstained. They were the weakest and had the fewest votes, but that was enough to keep me from winning. They had to go. I had to claim their votes to push me over the top. So I mobilized. Bombers, fighters, and divisions of tanks and infantry. I set out my destroyers and my submarines to blockade and bombard their cities, while my ground forces moved into position. After a few battles against their SAM infantries, I was in control. Their longbowmen were no match against the steel and power of my mechanized infantry. Shanghai fell first. Then Beijing. Then the rest of China.

But it was too late.

Early on during the war, I realized that the Russians managed to sneak something by me. All at once, they had completed 3 seperate components for their Space Ship. Fuck! The race was on. I pushed harder, trying to expediate the war so I could get this diplomatic victory. I built spies and sent them to Mother Russia to keep tabs on their progress. With about ten years left, the Russians were down to two components. I knew where they were being built, because of my spy, and because of my great fortunes -- I cut back cultural and scientific funding to generate more wartime funds -- I sabotaged their plans. And again. And again. I can do this. I can delay them enough to win! It's within my grasp!

Then they discovered my spy. There must have been an informant! No! By the time I managed to built one again and send it into their territory, it was too late. The Russians left the Earth for Alpha Centauri. I had lost. I had the top four cities in the world. I had massive cultural output. I was close to getting a diplomatic victory. Yet, in the end, my millenia old allies sneaked right past me and left me behind in their wake.

They will pay for this. I have saves I can revert to. I can go back and focus my military might on them. I will crush them, even if it means leaving half the continent an uninhabitable radioactive wasteland. They will pay for what they have done.

But first, I have two new games going that I want to finish! Then, and only then, will they get what they deserve.

God damn does this game eat up a lot of time.

Canadian Handheld Sales

The Gaming Age forums are like most gaming forums: brimming with unadulterated nerd fanaticism. The Gaming Age forums are particularly bad, though not as bad as some cesspools out there. I'm not a member but I visit once in a while for "anthropological reasons". Sometimes also for the very useful (because the information costs money and is not published anywhere else) NPD sales threads.

These threads get pretty lousy too, full of "my gaming device is better than your gaming device" boasting and self-centred "why didn't anyone buy this game that I bought" lamenting. Behind those cries and screams, though, lies some useful information.

This month's thread revealed something interesting and something I hadn't seen before: Canadian NPD sales numbers. They were only for PSP and DS sales, but that's still something. The conclusion?

DS
US - 2,376,895 (through October)
Canada - 467,000 (through October)

PSP
US - 2,028,530 (through September)
Canada - 508,000 (through October)

I found this suprising. That's a 5:1 US vs Canadian ratio for DS sales and 4:1 for the PSP, despite the 9:1 ratio in population. I'm not sure what this means, but it seems as though Canada has, by a fair amount, more portable game consoles per capita than the US. Hmmm. Draw your own conclusions (assuming these numbers are valid.)

Edge Magazine and Castlevania DS

Canadian FYI: it seems as though venerable British game mag Edge is finally being imported by Chapters/Indigo. I don't know if it's a chain wide thing, but I've seen the publication in two stores so I'm willing to bet that the larger locations will have it.

Tonight, I finally beat Castlevania DS. The game is sort of like an Aston Martin sports car with a spoiler made of concrete. It's well designed, nice looking, and runs real well, but somewhere down the line the designers wanted to add a spoiler, because they felt they should, despite not knowing how or why. So they made it quick and cheap in concrete and it weighs the car down and doesn't function all that well, but the rest of the car is still slick and powerful enough to overcome it.

Or something like that.

What I'm getting at is that the touch screen implementation is lame at best. Other than signing your name, the touch screen is used to remove blocks in your way (which appear in, literally, three spots in the game -- spots you never have to go through more than once) and to finish off a boss using a Simon-like magic seal bullshit gesture thing. A quick gesture that, if you get it wrong, resurrects the once dead boss. Nothing pisses you off more than battling a really tough enemy to its death only to have it come back to life and kill you because you couldn't fucking remember which hand gesture you had to use. Don't add functionality you don't need because you feel like you should! The touch screen is not a requirement. It's there if you need it, but shouldn't be used it you don't.

The other annoying thing in the game is that it relies a little too heavily on random item (soul) drops from enemies. You can do without most of them, but the few that you do need and/or are essential can be a pain in the ass to get. Moving from room to room, you expect a certain flow as you explore the large map. But when you need to get some souls, all you can do is enter a screen, kill an enemy, leave the screen, come back, kill the enemy again, and repeat until they drop a soul. This can take many, many, many attempts. It is frustrating.

But, um, good game. Yeah.

How to experience Civilization IV

Here is a brief step by step guide to Civilization IV, as experienced by me:

1. Turn on computer. Wait for boot. Insert Civ IV Disc 1.
2. Install DirectX 9.0c.
3. Agree to terms and start installation.
4. Wait.
5. Insert Civ IV Disc 2.
6. Wait.
7. Re-insert Civ IV Disc 1. Wait.
8. Get a "Renderer Failed to Initialize" error.
9. Open a browser. Type "Civilization 'Renderer Failed to Initialize'" into the search box. Hit enter.
10. Look at 14 page long thread complaining about the "Renderer Failed to Initialize" error.
11. Go to ATI's site and download latest drivers.
12. Uninstall current drivers. Reboot.
13. Wait.
14. Boot up at 640x480, install new drivers.
15. Wait.
16. Reboot. Again.
17. Wait.
18. Boot up at 640x480. Wait for Catalyst to initialize. Return to 1280x1024 resolution.
19. Start Civilization IV.
20. Get a "Renderer Failed to Initialize" error.
21. Open browser. Got to CivIV.com.
22. Look at their 24 step guide to fixing the issue.
23. Swear profusely.

Here is a brief step by step guide to Shadow of the Colossus:

1. Turn the Playstation 2 on.
2. Insert game disc.
3. Play.
4. Swear profusely at PC Gaming.

Finally got it working using this utility.